Suffering from reverse cultural shock?  Share your experiences here!

Have you been through an experience with your family; your in-laws; your spouse; your work; your community -- that will help someone avoid the same pitfalls?  Share it with us. 

08/30/07 letter from a "modest girl"

I came to the US with my parents and brother and after a few years in the States, my brother and I moved to Canada where we received our citizenships.

During the time I was in the US, my father liked a boy and asked me if I would be interested in marriage and like any girl with strong eastern upbringing I informed him that I would leave the decision to him.

However, when he approached the boy, he was informed that there was no interest from the boy’s side to get married.  After that, I moved to Canada and got on with my life.

Out of the blue, I received a call from my father to say that he had been approached by this boy (the same one who had said he was not interested to get married), that he is now interested in me.  So, my father asked me again, “what do you think?” and again, my answer had been, “whatever you think best”.  And so, I was summoned to come during the Independence Day long weekend for my “wedding”.

I dutifully came over and during that week, we had our court wedding and once we sat down to discuss details about the wedding and the fact that I wanted to stay in Canada, I found out that my “husband” did not want to leave the USA and not only that but that he was living illegally in the States and there was no way he would move to Canada.

I spent a month in the US, trying to work out things with my “husband”, but so far, have not got very far with anything – except he is rude and abrupt with me; refuses to listen to anything I have to say and only listens to his mother!

Despite all this, as my husband, I believe it is important to try and work things out and although my peers will judge me badly for not trying to get out of this paper marriage, again, I believe it is very important to a) not let my parents think they made a mistake – although in all honestly, I cannot say it is a mistake because I really like my “husband”; and b) if I can work things out, I am sure we will be very happy, and so I will keep on trying to make this work.

Ruth DeSouza » Migration & Culture » Asians

 Research Study

Breast Cancer in South Asian Woman

 We are interested in talking to South Asian women that have been diagnosed (recently or in the past) with breast cancer to obtain information about the needs of South Asian women who have experienced breast cancer from the time of diagnosis, during treatment, and as survivors.

 ·        Drs. Beth Glenn and Roshan Bastani of the UCLA Division of Cancer Prevention and Control Research and Mr. Zul Surani of Saath: South Asian Cancer Foundation are conducting a research study to assess the unique needs of South Asian women diagnosed with breast cancer. Interested South Asian women (Indian, Pakistani, Sri Lankan, Bangladeshi, Nepali, Maldivian, and Bhutanese) who have been diagnosed with breast cancer and are over the age of 18 will be able to participate in a one-on-one individual interview. Interviews will be conducted in English, Hindi, Gujarati, Punjabi, Bengali, Urdu, and Sinhalese.

·        Please contact [Dr. Beth Glenn at (310) 206-9715 or Mr. Zul Surani at (323)286-6439  if you are interested in participating. 

·         You will be offered $30 after completing the one-on-one interview.